Neeeaaaaaoooow, duh duduh, duh duduh, duh duduh, daaaaah. Duh duduh duh duduh, duh duduh, daaaaah ... Isn't that a welcome sound for a Saturday night, music to the nation's ears. What is it? Are you mad? It's Doctor Who (BBC1, Saturday) of course, the theme tune. No? Wooh waaah, woooooh waaah ...
But wait! There's something missing, not from the theme tune, but from the whole thing. And not just any old thing, but the best thing - leaving a terrifying void, a massive great black hole in the centre of the screen: there's no Rose. Billie Piper's gone.
So here's her so-called replacement, Martha, played by Freema Agyeman. Oh! Well, maybe it's not so bad after all. Bet she can't act though, bet she can't reproduce that chemistry with David Tennant.
There are strange things going on at the hospital where Martha is a medical student. The Doctor is a patient there, for a start. Next the Stig from Top Gear turns up and starts causing trouble (and then another one - two Stigs! I knew it wasn't just one person). It starts to rain upwards outside. Then, before you know it, the whole hospital has been teleported to the moon. And the Doctor and Martha are having a romantic earthlit moment on the balcony. Then he's snogging her! Bloody hell, he's so totally over Rose. OK, so it's not actually a snog snog - it's part of the Doctor's plans to trick the Judoon, the scary space-rhino aliens that are running all over the place. But it certainly looks like a snog snog.
That's it then, the chemistry in place, in episode one. It's almost too quick. But Agyeman is great. If I do have one criticism, it's that she's too much like her predecessor - in the way she speaks, her mannerisms, the way she flirts with the Doctor. I hope as the series goes on, she'll develop more of her own identity. But it'll do for now. Bloody hell, I'm so over Rose too. Billie who, frankly.