- Joined
- Jan 12, 2003
- Messages
- 530
tamyu said:If anyone is still interested in this topic...
My son was born with ambiguous genitalia. We had to have a blood test to determine his gender, which put a kink in naming him until we got the results back. He does not have any chromosomal abnormalities - he is genetically male. He was born with a very poorly developed, malformed penis, testicles that were too far up inside to ever descend, and a shallow vaginal like opening. His urethral opening was indented and placed like a female`s. He did not have any internal female organs though - or at least that we detected. He is still quite small and hasn`t had an abdominal MRI or CT done yet so we can`t be entirely sure.
We were told that as the situation stands, he is not producing any male hormones, and may never do so. Puberty may never come for him without hormonal supplements. The doctors believe this was caused due to a severe disruption of development during his very early development. He had other various problems before birth, which led to both a massive stroke, IUGR, and premature birth.
We have also been informed that he has a drastically higher chance of identifying with a female than a "normal" male child does. It may turn out that he feels he is a little girl inside. If that is the case, we plan to accept it with no complaints. We don`t really know what level of hormones he received in the early stages of development - and what the effects were on his developing brain.
Despite a lot of people feeling that it isn`t right to "choose" a gender in these sort of cases, we decided to go with his genetic gender - male - and operate accordingly. As things were, he would never have developed a normal looking penis and his testicles would never have descended. We had reconstructive surgery done on his penis at just over a year - they also brought his testicles down for him.
We believe we made the correct choice - we have given him the chance to grow normal-looking male genitalia, something that would never happen if we had left things as they were. Our rationalization is that you can always get rid of the penis should he feel he is a girl, but I don`t believe he will be angry with us if he feels he is a boy. (The more likely outcome.) It`s easy to take away, but not to bring back what is already gone.
Years ago, though, we would have been doubtlessly pushed to remove the deformed parts and raise him as a girl.
We are doing our best to raise him in a gender neutral environment. His clothing is generally neutral, as are his toys. He has both boy and girl toys. We also do not press any gender "expectations" on him. We will accept him however he ends up, and because of all this I think we will be a lot more attentive than parents who don`t know their child has the possibility of being the "wrong" gender on the outside.
Great Tamyu, I wish you the best for you and your kid.