Had an interesting realization this AM. Well, interesting to me, anyway.
I've often dreamed of my nasty old haunted apartment. Despite having moved out many years ago, the wretched hovel has appeared in dreams over and over. Sometimes I'm living back there, sometimes it's a hidden part of another house or something of that sort. Whatever guise it comes in, it's never a welcome sight. I've never known why it kept coming back to haunt me, but wished it would just go the hell away.
Last night, I dreamed I was back there again, but this time even worse, my OH and youngest child were there, too. It was dark and cold, and we were sleeping cramped up in the daybed I used to have there. The sinister landlord came by to tell us that due to the ramshackle conditions, he was reducing our rent (definitely out of character for him, ha!) I noticed that my youngest had drawn numbers and letters all over the walls, and while I was upset (how did I fall off in my parenting so badly as to allow this?!) it hardly detracted from the room's appearance.
.
Then it became scary, because while the others were sleeping, I hear a noise from the living room and know that someone has broken in. I wake my OH, and tell him about it, but he says, don't worry, it's nothing. I try to remind him that
no, really, this place isn't safe, but can't get a response. I get so scared at that point, I wake up.
After I'd woken, it was immediately clear what had brought on this dream. Last night I'd had a talk with one of my older sons, who admitted to feeling depressed and hopeless about his future. Maybe it's typical young adult angst over college, etc. and it will pass, but I can't help feeling concerned since depression has wrecked chunks of my own life and I've always hoped my kids wouldn't have to deal with the same thing.
That's when I realized why that blasted apartment keeps showing up in my dreams. It symbolizes depression! Stunning that I hadn't realized it before, but it really was hard to get at. Something about my other family members being there in the dream and the convo the night before finally made the link.
It's a relief to have solved that mystery. Maybe now that place can be exorcized from my brain at last.