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Worst Movie EVER?

Are my brother and I the only freaks who found The Matrix well-nigh unwatchable? Also couldn't stand Starship Troopers--said so on another messageboard, and someone condescendingly told me I didn' t get it. Nah, I got it, friend; what I didn't get was entertained.
 
CONTACT. I sat through two hours of BS just to see where that POS spaceship takes her and the alien's her friggin' dad!! Worst ending ever.
 
Oliver Stone's Natural Born Killers deserves an honorable mention with its sickeningly grotesque acting, story line, hair styles and bogus message tacked on to dignify pov shots through large bullet holes.
 
Leaferne said:
Also couldn't stand Starship Troopers--said so on another messageboard, and someone condescendingly told me I didn' t get it.
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Well, if they had just called it Triumph of the Will II it would have been much easier to understand.
 
Sertile said:
CONTACT. I sat through two hours of BS just to see where that POS spaceship takes her and the alien's her friggin' dad!! Worst ending ever.
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Which only goes to prove how little thinking people actually put into the average movie these days.

The alien was not her dad. The form of her dad was chosen from her mind as the form that would be most pleasing to her . . . kind of like the Stay Puffed Marshmallow Man from Ghostbusters . . .

Of course, if a movie has a thoughtful, intelligent ending instead of a shoot-out and a chase people sometimes tend to become confused.



-Fitz
 
Personally, I found Contact to be a remarkably banal and tedious film which would have been much improved by adding a Keystone Cops style chase at the climax. Or maybe some Ninjas.

However, I actually came here to talk about Chronicles of Riddick. It sums up everything which is wrong with science-fiction film making these days. Like Matrix Revolutions, it consists of nothing more than special effects, fights, and explosions, yet still manages to be insufferably boring.

Also, I found Riddick to be the most insufferably smug action hero in the history of cinema. I'd have paid good money just to watch someone give him a good slapping. He reminded me of that old Simpsons episode where a bunch of executives are sitting around a table designing a new "cool" character to add to Itchy and Scratchy and they end up with an irritating dog in shades who everybody hates on sight. Riddick is that dog.
 
you know I've SEEN the Chronicles of Riddick...but I can't remember a thing about it...strange...

or does this just attest to a whole new level of movie-badness?
 
light said:
you know I've SEEN the Chronicles of Riddick...but I can't remember a thing about it...strange...

or does this just attest to a whole new level of movie-badness?
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It was the movie equivilant of a Kraft single so I am not surprised.
 
The worst bit of The Chronicles of Riddick was that I had to duck out to the lav for about 2 minutes, and when I got back I was told I'd missed the plot.

Discussing it later, I realised they were right. None of the rest of the film made sense without knowledge of what happened when I left the cinema. Even then it was a bit of a stretch.
 
I agree about both The Matrix (actually I cringe at the mere mention of the name "Keanu") and Starship Troopers.

Contact will stand as an audio-visual monument to Carl Sagan's autoeroticism.

If it hasn't been mentioned, I'd add the heinous remake of Rollerball.
 
Contact will stand as an audio-visual monument to Carl Sagan's autoeroticism.
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No, no no! Badder than that!

Carl Sagans religious yearnings.
 
One film that was on TV awhile back - 'We Were Soldiers'. My god, that film not only had every war cliche in the book (yes, more than 'Saving Private Ryan'), but also had some terrible Gibsonite religious moral undertone going through the whole thing. Made him look extraordinarily conceited IMHO. Just a bloody awful film too. Can't Gibson go back to making Lethal Weapon films? At least they're entertaining ;)
 
In reference to Contact, I know it wasn't REALLY her dad, I just found it to be an extremely anticlimactic ending to an already tedious movie. The alien didn't even have anything particularly interesting to say. Where was the payoff?

Also, I'd like to second Natural Born Killers.
 
While I wouldn't call it one of the worse movies I've ever seen, I was also left utterly cold by Buckaroo Banzai. (Maybe it was because of the friend I saw it with; she hated it from the first frame and that may have coloured my experience) I dunno; it just felt like it was trying too hard, too self-consciously presenting itself as an instant cult classic. I mention it here because I know a lot of people loved it, and here I am worrying people are going to think I'm a dweeb for not enjoying it (see my earlier comments about The Matrix and Starship Troopers).

(isn't there a thread for "things everyone seems to like except me" and if not, why not?)
 
A friend of mine used to go on interminably about how great Buckeroo Banzai was and how he wished he could get hold of a copy (he hadn't seen it since it first came out when he was a teenager). When it was recently released on DVD he was thrilled, and came straight round to see me clutching his newly bought copy and insisted we watch it. Half an hour into the film we both agreed that we were wasting our lives and turned it off. It's funny how things you remember as being really amazing when you were a kid turn out to be a disappointment when you revisit them.
 
I recently saw Godzilla vs. Megalon and it was even better than I remember it as a kid. But only the fight scenes. And the music.
 
Anyone seen Safe with Julian Moore? It is one of the maybe three movies I could not sit through . . . nothing happened . . . and this is coming from a fan of Bergman and Altman's Three Women . . .

NOTHING.
 
I remember seeing Police Academy 5 in 1988....
 
I thought the Phantom Menace was a contender (for worst film) until I saw The Clone wars. The first three films were okay but nothing to get excited about, but I have little desire to see star wars six (or is it three?).

And Event Horizon was appalling also.
 
Oh, come on, Clone Wars isn't perfect, but it's much much better than the Phantom Menace.


-Fitz
 
Fitz said:
Oh, come on, Clone Wars isn't perfect, but it's much much better than the Phantom Menace.


-Fitz
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Frankly carving the entire text of war and peace on my scrotum with a blunt craft knife would be better than ever having to watch the Phantom Menace again.
 
Rarely do I watch a movie so incompetent that my jaw literally drops. But every feculent frame of Resident Evil: Apocalypse had it hanging wide open.

Sweet Jesus, grown men made this!
 
Ogopogo said:
Rarely do I watch a movie so incompetent that my jaw literally drops. But every feculent frame of Resident Evil: Apocalypse had it hanging wide open.

Sweet Jesus, grown men made this!
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I second that. I was very dissapointed because I kind of liked the first one, even though it sucked . . . at least it was entertaining schlock . . .

-Fitz
 
Mary, Mary, Bloody Mary (Why Do All Your Lovers Die?) has to be one of my top horrid films. Any movie wherein the rental box is a portrait of a not-eye-poppingly-beautiful woman surrounded by some fuzzy airbrushy looking clouds is probably not going to be a winner. See also: Films with part of their title in parentheses. (Though I'm certain someone has one that will prove me wrong ;) )

Caligula was mind-numbingly awful. Not suitable for a fun and cheery toga party in the slightest. *cringe*

Showgirls. The main character dances like she's made of elbows and f**ks like a dying fish. Oh and it's about three hours long or so. *shudder*
 
I will no doubt be exiled for this but I can honestly say that O Brother, Where art thou? was without doubt the worst film I have ever seen. And I have seen some corkers!! I only stayed in the cinema because I had paid for the ticket.

A close second is an American docu-movie called Spellbound about kids taking part in a spelling bee contest. It follows the preperation of 5 different kids and charts their progression through the national competition. This was our only enetrtainment on an overnight sleeper train from Adelaide to Alice Springs. I was willing to walk instead!!!

BTW, I saw a trailer for a movie yesterday starring Laurance Fishburne about a man who's daughter is in a spelling bee contest. F-L-O-P. Flop.
 
Definitely The Blair, I mean, Bore Witch Project.

Definitely.

I'd rather watch all the Police Academy flicks in a row than sit through that stinker.
 
I also had a similar experience with a recent re-viewing of 'Buckaroo Banzai' on DVD. While I still feel the film possesses certain singular charms, I was struck by the number of times I kept asking myself how I could have been so enthralled by this thing the first time around, though I think that one of the reasons the film seems at times so self-consciously 'hip' owes a lot more to the editing process than any specific intention on the director's part ( rumor has it the film was a 3-hour plus, unmanageable mess that underwent several trimmings under the film editor's knife until it was deemed presentable for popular consumption by the studio ).
 
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