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Odd & Ill-Advised Rectal Insertions

Is that like when the vicar shows up at A&E telling them he was changing a lightbulb in the nude when he fell and landed on the phallic shaped vase he got from his aunt? :rofl:

Wasn't it a potato he got stuck up there? No idea why I remember that...
Yes, it stuck in my mind too.

I have heard so many of these tales over the years.

For a long time, I had bookmarked a medical page called "The Virginny Creeper." A woman troubled by a prolapse, used a potato to provide a temporary support. It proved so effective that she forgot about it, until a tendril put in its appearance at her watering hole. :rolleyes:
Canadian Mint Employee Allegedly Smuggled $140,000 Of Gold Inside His Rectum


Investigators also found a container of vaseline in his locker and the trial was presented with the prospect that a puck could be concealed in an anal cavity and not be detected by the wand. In preparation for these proceedings, in fact, a security employee actually tested the idea, Barnes said.

Wait this wasn't in the job description! It's kind of funny but I am Canadian and it's my tax dollars he's stealing. This would never happen at Fort Knox.
"I'll do it, I'll do it" says security guard waving hand frantically in the air.
Plane passenger arrested for trying to smuggle 12 gold bars in his rectum

Georgia Diebelius for Metro.co.ukWednesday 15 Feb 2017 3:34 pm
A man was arrested on suspicion of smuggling gold after he was stopped at an airport ‘for walking in a suspicious manner’.

The Indian man was called to one side by customs officers after getting off of a plane in Hyderabad, India, on Sunday.

Upon inspection, officers discovered eight gold bars weighing a total of 800 grams inside his luggage.

But that wasn’t the most shocking part…

Staff then decided to x-ray the suspect – and found he had another 12 bars of gold on him.

Where? They had been inserted into his rectum.

Speaking to the New Indian Express, an Air Intelligence Unit spokesperson said: ‘The 20 gold bars he was trying to smuggle are worth about Rs 59.1 lakh.’

The traveller was arrested and detained for questioning.

Read more: http://metro.co.uk/2017/02/15/plane...old-bars-in-his-rectum-6450656/#ixzz4YnTr1fGi
Man claims drugs found up his arse “weren’t his”:

A Pennsylvania inmate has lost an appeal after claiming drugs found hidden in his buttocks belonged to someone else.



Edwin Greco Wylie-Biggs became the subject of a strip search when a corrections officer saw another inmate pass something to him at the State Correctional Institution Fayette.

The 36-year-old was ordered to bend over and spread his buttocks, which is when searchers found a small plastic bag sticking out of his rectum.

Inside that bag was a blue balloon containing synthetic marijuana, also known as K2.

In April, a judge sentenced Wylie-Biggs, of Clarion, to an extra three to six years in prison for possessing contraband.

But Wylie-Biggs appealed the charge on the grounds that Pennsylvania prison officials didn't prove the synthetic marijuana was his.

However, Senior Judge William Platt concluded that the state provided sufficient evidence that Wylie-Biggs did in fact have an illegal substance.


maximus otter
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"Access Denied".

Works for me ... Here's the text of the news item - such as it is ...

Deputies say a man had three syringes in his rectum while being searched at the Pinellas County Jail.

When Wesley Scott, 40, pulled the syringes from his rectum, deputies said Scott told them they were not his and he didn't know how they got there.

Scott had just been arrested on a warrant for a previous drug charge. Deputies say he's now facing an additional charge of introducing/possessing contraband in a county detention facility.
It almost sounds as if his rectum is classifiable as a 'country detention facility'.
The urbane movie star of the 1930s and 40s, William Powell, was cured of rectal cancer when doctors administered radioactive needles to the area. He lived for many more years. Anyway, could this be a medical treatment? Or is the guy so out of it that he doesn't remember doing it to himself? Or a liar?
Florida man says syringes found in his rectum aren't his
Pinellas County deputies said the man told them the syringes weren't his and he doesn't know how they got there.

Incredibly Short Story:

Do we know whether the syringes were full of scag or something, or empty? And presumably needles weren't fitted...

It's certainly unfortunate that someone inserted them in the poor mans arse without his knowledge. Shit happens.
Shit doesn't happen when you're blocked up with syringes.
Can you imagine if he farted while he was bending over