The World's Dumbest Criminals

Bigphoot2

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Some real criminal masterminds at work here.

Thieves use gold crucifix to break into church safe
Emma RobinsonReporter

Thieves use gold crucifix to break into church safe


7 comments

Thieves broke into a church and used a priceless gold crucifix to break into a safe...to steal just £30 in cash.

Dan Pierce, 39, a team vicar for the Billericay Team Ministry, was saddened and shocked when he received the news of the break-in at St Mary Magdalen Church, High Street.

He said: “The cleaner came in and found there was a broken window and the vestry had been completely turned over. We think there were three guys who did it.

“They pulled up outside in a car, but they did not spot the CCTV cameras when they went in.

“They used the cross to try and prize the safe from the wall, in doing so, they broke and bent the crucifix.
etc
http://www.echo-news.co.uk/news/15680913.Thieves_use_gold_crucifix_to_break_into_church_safe/
 
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Serves him right. I can't understand these people who attack hospital workers and paramedics.
It's because they are seen as symbols of authority to the type of person who thinks all authority is an infringement of their personal liberty (only when it suits them, when they're the victim, they complain the loudest to the same authorities). It might be a 'uniform thing'.
 

Bigphoot2

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Serves him right. I can't understand these people who attack hospital workers and paramedics.

Edit: I see they sent PC Graham Norton. Not sure that sending Graham Norton to sort it out was advisable.
My cousin works as a paramedic and had to deal with a junkie who had overdosed. He was given medication to counteract the drug and eventually he came round - only to have a go at the medical staff because "I spent good money on that stuff and you ***** ruined it!"
 

escargot

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My cousin works as a paramedic and had to deal with a junkie who had overdosed. He was given medication to counteract the drug and eventually he came round - only to have a go at the medical staff because "I spent good money on that stuff and you ***** ruined it!"
I've heard of that happening at festivals. There's a special tent put aside for people to recover in and they're usually most ungrateful when they come to. Silly arses.
 
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Threw away the bottle worth $1.3m! Now thats dumb!

A stolen bottle of vodka thought to be the world's most expensive at $1.3m (£960,000) has been found empty on a construction site, Danish police say.

The bottle, made from gold and silver and with a diamond encrusted cap, was on loan to a Copenhagen bar which had a collection of vodkas on display.

CCTV released on Wednesday showed an intruder, who grabbed the Russo-Baltique vodka and fled the bar.

The bottle was found unbroken on a construction site in the city.

"I don't know what happened with the vodka, but the bottle was empty", Riad Tooba, spokesman for the Copenhagen police, told AFP news agency. ...

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-42587038
 

EnolaGaia

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I'm not sure how much of a criminal this guy is, but the 'dumb' part rings true ... :roll:

Cops: Maine man punches self in face to avoid sobriety test
Police in Maine have accused a man of punching himself in the face three times to avoid a sobriety test.

Police in the town of Belfast say they found 27-year-old Brian Fogg in his car, stuck in a ditch last week.

WGME-TV reports police said when they tried to test for his blood-alcohol level, Fogg punched himself in the face, causing himself to bleed. Police tended to his injuries instead of giving him the test, but later charged him with operating under the influence, falsifying physical evidence and criminal mischief. ...
SOURCE (With Booking Photo!): https://apnews.com/099d5395b86a45d0...-punches-self--in-face-to-avoid-sobriety-test
 

EnolaGaia

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I thought about posting this to the 'Great Acts of Stupidity' thread, but the inevitability of prosecution on grand theft and drug charges recommends it for this thread ...

Lawyer: Hotel valet gave his $300,000 Ferrari to wrong man
The owner of a $300,000 Ferrari is suing Marriott International, saying a hotel valet gave his keys to a young man who was trying to impress a woman he just met.

... James “Skip” Fowler parked his yellow 458 Italia Spider outside the Vinoy Renaissance Resort & Golf Club last July 27 while attending a lawyer’s convention in St. Petersburg.

There the 2014 Ferrari remained for more than 12 hours, until Levi Miles, then 28, showed up. Miles said he told the woman it was his and demanded the keys, telling the valet that the ticket was in the car and he’d bring it back. He never did. ...

Miles drove off with Chloe Rimmer in the passenger seat until an officer stopped him for driving without taillights. The police report noted that the driver had “difficulty” handling the car, that cocaine was found on the center console, and that Rimmer had marijuana in her purse. ...

“I was just trying to impress the girl I just met at the Vinoy,” he told officers.

But Miles says he’s innocent of grand theft, because the valet gave him the keys. He also faces charges of cocaine possession and habitually driving with a suspended or revoked license. Rimmer faces a charge of marijuana possession.

Fowler, meanwhile is accusing the hotel and valet, 717 Parking Enterprises, of negligence. He said had to spend “significant sums” on car inspections, repairs and legal fees after he got his Ferrari back, and that its value had been “diminished.”
SOURCE: https://apnews.com/ecaba9a1b12540ba...-valet-gave-his-$300,000-Ferrari-to-wrong-man
 

Swifty

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Drunk car vandal with sports commentary play by play

"On Wednesday, January 31, 2018, KIRO Radio captured surveillance footage of a vandal trying to break in to one of our employee's vehicles in our parking lot. While the suspect is still at large, we took the liberty to have John Curley give his play-by-play of the incident."

 

maximus otter

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A gangster has gone three weeks without a bowel movement in an alleged attempt to stop police finding drugs he swallowed.

The man was arrested in Harlow, Essex, on January 17, and is charged with two counts of possessing Class A drugs with intent to supply. He is accused of swallowing a drugs stash, and is being kept in custody.



Officers have been tweeting updates of what they have described as "poo watch".

Police said they would continue to apply to court for custody extensions until the man goes for a poo.

#London gang nominal arrested for failing to stop for police and possession with intent to supply class A drugs, male doesn’t think we have the power to keep him until he removes said items from his bottom, #thinkagain #opraptor pic.twitter.com/oThvqtRrwc

— Op Raptor West (@OpRaptorWest) January 17, 2018


The unit said that Wednesday was day 21 "for our man on #poowatch", adding: "Still no movements/items to report, he will remain with us until Friday when we are back at court where we will be requesting a further eight days should he not produce anything before that hearing."

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/201...llowing-drugs-goes-three-weeks-without-bowel/

maximus otter
 

Swifty

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There should be a webcam for that.
And William Hill could open a book on it - when will the shit hit the pan - Bet Naah.
I wish I'd gone to William Hill last year with the bet "A man will put a motor car in space next year" .. I'd be knee deep in Evil Dead collectables by now .. and the rest ..
 

Bigphoot2

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Victory

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Lamarr Chambers up to 26 days without releasing his bowels.

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/5562443/suspect-day-26-of-no-poo-protest-class-a-drugs/

Meanwhile Jacques Cassandri, wrongly calculated he would not be punished for his crime memoir.
He thought statute of limitations had have expired on a 1976 bank heist, but is in court over money laundering charges resulting from the heist after writing a memoir on his role in it.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/201...ds-trial-frances-heist-century-blowing-cover/
 

Bigphoot2

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Lamarr Chambers up to 26 days without releasing his bowels.

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/5562443/suspect-day-26-of-no-poo-protest-class-a-drugs/

Meanwhile Jacques Cassandri, wrongly calculated he would not be punished for his crime memoir.
He thought statute of limitations had have expired on a 1976 bank heist, but is in court over money laundering charges resulting from the heist after writing a memoir on his role in it.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/201...ds-trial-frances-heist-century-blowing-cover/
I wouldn't want to be anywhere near him when he does release them.
 
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